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Holy shit, I suck!

June 9, 2010

Oy. I suck. I suck in ways that are beyond the normal definitions of suckage. (WordPress is telling me right now (via the red squiggly line under the word) that “suckage” isn’t a real word, but I know in my heart that it is. And if it isn’t, it should be. Of course, WordPress is also telling me right now that “WordPress” isn’t a real word (via the red squiggly line) so it’s obvious that they aren’t really that smart and stuff).

Anyway, I suck because I haven’t blogged. In my defense, it’s because life seems to have done that thing it does from time to time where it sends you into a tailspin and you’re all sorts of discombobulated. Extracurricular activities for the kids have taken over our lives… the school year for the kids ends in two days… several dear friends of mine have had someone important to them pass away in the past week… I decided to finally embark on a business venture I’ve been encouraged to try for years now and am trying to figure out the best way to go about it… and the day-to-day things that normally are automatic seem to have intensified to the point where I feel like the world is spinning WAY too fast and I just want to jump off and see where I end up.

I landed a job interview tomorrow at 10:30 AM. I sent my resume this morning and my phone was ringing less than 1 hour later. Part of me feels flattered by this, but the other part of me is dreading the whole outcome if I actually land this job (for reasons I won’t get into right now). But the bottom line is that my actual brain and what I get paid to do doesn’t exactly line up.

For those that don’t know me well (or at all), I have over 15 years of experience as a technical writer. That means I write REALLY boring crap that no one ever reads unless forced to by their job responsibilities. Seriously. The stuff I write would put the most hyperactive person on the planet  to sleep. But surprisingly, it pays quite well at times. Really well at times if we’re being honest.

But that isn’t the “real” me. The real me has no interest in that what-so-ever. I want to write creative, funny stuff, or design logos, or be a graphic artist, or write the great American novel. But the bottom line is that when push comes to shove, that stuff doesn’t pay the bills (unless you’re way more motivated and aggressive than I am). So once again, we’re at that crossroads where I have to  suck it up and do what I have to do to pay some bills and be a responsible adult.

So tomorrow, I’ll go to the interview and take my boring ass writing samples and say what I think the interviewer wants me to say. I’m surprisingly good at what I do, so I know in my heart that I have the ability to do a damn good job. But I also know that as I’m feeding them all of the “correct” responses, I’ll be thinking about how I got to this point and wondering if there’s a way to run out of the interview and still have them pay me even though they don’t offer me the job.

So I guess that right now, I’m asking for lots of good luck vibes for tomorrow and halfheartedly asking for some positive thoughts that I don’t say or do something really stupid during my interview. Because god knows it wouldn’t be the first time. Sigh…

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6 Comments leave one →
  1. June 9, 2010 3:52 PM

    Good luck and crossed fingers. We do what we have to, but sometimes there are good surprises, like crazy people to work with. My first job out of college was that of an editor of engineering documents about how to build a nuclear power plant. Fortunately, I didn’t screw things up too badly as plant is still nuclear. Yikes! 🙂 You know the job is yours if you want it.

    • June 10, 2010 12:56 AM

      Oh Izzie, I hear ya. I’ve worked with my fair share of crazy people (and I must admit that in a way I thank them for providing me with thousands of fantastically hilarious Facebook status updates on my own wall…). And I totally just LOL about the how to build a nuclear power plant document thing. It’s like, “Here you go… Go build one and tell us if it works.” LOL!

  2. June 9, 2010 9:16 AM

    Well, I, for one, am glad you did not fall off the face of the earth. I just started reading your blog, when you suddenly disappeared. I was about damn near in tears thinking that I wasn’t going to have the chance to read any more from you 😉 (cause your last post HAD me)!

    Good luck with the bill paying (blech) job interview.

    • June 10, 2010 12:53 AM

      Thank you JB! I apologize again for my sudden disappearance. I promise that things will soon be up and running like normal again soon around here. But the next few days are filled with softball games, the last day of school, dress rehearsals for dance class and my younger daughter’s birthday, so I can’t promise anything until at least after the weekend. LOL!

  3. Tracey permalink
    June 9, 2010 9:11 AM

    Good luck, Alien. No landing a 9-5er that will impede my bi-annual visits, okay? 😉 *smooch*

    • June 10, 2010 12:51 AM

      Sorry Tracey, but this IS a 9-5er. Sigh. I’m so depressed… LOL!

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