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Oh, How Far We’ve Come…

May 27, 2010

So I mentioned in my last post that at our local library’s book sale a week or two ago, I bought a book for the kids. I won’t go into details about why I selected it, but just seeing the cover and the title, I knew it would be hilarious without even trying. Because let’s face it, times have changed over the last 30 years. And I could tell by the cover that the book was old and would provide me with many a chuckle. And once I checked the copyright date (1970), I knew I wouldn’t be disappointed. And I wasn’t. At all.

So here’s the cover:

Well, it’s good to see that the two characters are satisfied with their gender. (Which leads me to believe that Chastity Bono wasn’t a contributor to the book, but it’s all good.)

So when you first start reading it, it’s nothing too flaming. It’s stuff like this:

And this:

Yes, there can absolutely be arguments made here, but they’re nothing compared to what’s coming up…

The next pages are starting to be what I had hoped they’d be when I bought the book:

Oh my. I know PLENTY of girl doctors and several male nurses. So now we’re starting to cross a line here, Whitney. Watch yourself. Let’s turn the page, shall we? Because it’s about to get really good…

Whoa Whitney! Check yourself, sister! First of all, every single person in these illustrations looks beyond pissed off. I get the dude in the car being ticketed by the metermaid (do they still have those?). But the policeman looks ready to rip that baby out of the stroller and bodyslam her on the sidewalk. And that mom looks beyond pissed. And what’s with the metermaid’s face? Honey, you’re giving him a parking ticket… not arresting a violent sex offender. Get off your high horse. My god…

But let’s move on, shall we?…

OK. I’ll give you 50% of this one. Because although it’s still rare to find a girl football player (although it happens), there are plenty of boy cheerleaders. I mean, if it wasn’t for them, who would hoist the young girls up and hold them over their heads by their crotches? That would be weird for a chick to do that to another chick, ya know? Thank god for dude cheerleaders.

Next page?

OK. So this one is only slightly amusing. Because you really don’t hear about many girl pilots (although I assume there are some out there). I guess the only thing wrong with this set of pages and that girls are no longer called stewardesses. However, I am greatly disturbed that the stewardesses underwear are showing here. Really Whitney? [shaking head…]

Now we’re about to get downright offensive…

Whoa! Back it up Whitney! Seriously? I’m about to hunt you down and fix you, you ignorant bitch!!! I’m already fired up and then on the next page, you say this?

Wow. In this case, I think it’s the boys that should be offended. I know many a man who can whip up dishes that God himself would eat if he could. You’re batting 1000 here Whitney. But it can’t get any worse, right? Wrong.

Um, wow. Just wow. I’m afraid I’m going to have to disagree here Whitney. Because see, there are all SORTS of things invented by women. Like windshield wipers, disposable diapers, White Out, bras, and even chocolate chip cookies.  So take that Whitney!

Now surely you’re done pissing me off right? I said, RIGHT?!?!

Ugh. Obviously Whitney doesn’t know me very well. Because when it comes to “keeping houses” I suck. In fact, I’m surprised my house hasn’t run away on me by now. Just up and said one day, “Hey Allison, you can’t keep me. I’m outta here!” I wouldn’t blame it one bit if we’re being honest here. But Whitney, you’re an ass.

After that, the book once again goes back to being not too offensive. The last page is the boy and girl sitting together on a porch swing with the words, “We need each other,” under them. Even that annoys me in some ways, but by the time I got to that page, I was too fired up to even form coherent thoughts. LOL!

The truth is, none of the book actually angered me. I was laughing so hard that I had tears rolling down my face. And god bless Whitney. Because back when she wrote the book, the things she said were pretty much the norm (which makes me shudder). I’m glad we’ve come a long way. (And based on the confused looks on my daughters’ faces as they each read the book for the first time, they’re pretty happy about that too…)

10 Comments leave one →
  1. June 9, 2010 12:48 PM

    That’s a great book! I love things like that.

    I can’t believe it was printed in 1970 though. Even then women had made some strides in equality, hadn’t they?

  2. June 8, 2010 2:41 PM

    The cheerleaders don’t show their knickers, but the stewardesses do?

    Had Whitney ever met a cheerleader?

    But I totally want that stylin’ pinstripe jacket from the cover. Even if boy IS wearing it.

  3. May 31, 2010 5:28 PM

    Brilliant stuff! “Girls need things fixed” – yeah and boys are top of the list. 😉

  4. May 30, 2010 1:35 AM

    Thanks for the giggles. Great book indeed.

    Thank God I didn’t grow up then.

    And atleast we’re up to earning 79% of what men are paid to do the exact same job! Maybe some day we’ll make more (on my mind from one of my business classes.)

  5. May 29, 2010 10:37 PM

    Hey there!
    I’m sharing my first award with you…The Versatile Blogger! Hope you enjoy it! And thanks for keeping me entertained! If you want it, come on over:

  6. May 28, 2010 8:26 AM

    Oh Wow! I’m practically speechless! So what was the conversation like in your house after your kids got a gander at that relic of the past?
    Just saw this twittered yesterday (you might enjoy it):

  7. May 28, 2010 2:43 AM

    Haha, I was just blogging about Swedish stereotypes, quoting an absolutely hilarious writer, and the general idea is that in Sweden everything is equal, but everyone knows that the women are in charge. I’m sure the author of this book and the Swedish feminists would have a few things to say to each other. Hilarious!

  8. May 27, 2010 4:11 PM

    Oh my, you’ve outdone yourself with this one. Hahahaha. Classic. And I, too, am glad for cheerleader dudes. To this day, my hs cheerleading partner claims disability for having to hold me above his head for four quarters of every football game. Methinks said disability came from being chronically stoned every single day of high school. Last time I checked, he was a metermaid. Ha! Thank you!

  9. May 27, 2010 3:03 PM… This is…wow. I’m still laughing! Rant on, this is hideous! 😀

  10. May 27, 2010 10:42 AM

    Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. THAT was thoroughly entertaining. And, to think, I get p.o.’d when I look at the Toys R Us holiday catalog and everything for girls is pink, there are never any girls playing with cars, nor boys playing with kitchen sets (unless, of course, it’s a grill). Good to know we’re at least being subliminal about it now.

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